Those Phrases given by A Dad That Rescued Me when I became a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was simply in survival mode for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the difficulties of fatherhood.

Yet the actual experience soon proved to be "utterly different" to his expectations.

Severe health complications during the birth caused his partner Louise being hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into acting as her primary caregiver as well as looking after their infant son Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every change… every stroll. The job of both mum and dad," Ryan shared.

Following eleven months he reached burnout. That was when a talk with his own dad, on a public seat, that made him realise he required support.

The straightforward words "You aren't in a good place. You need support. What can I do to support you?" created an opening for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and start recovering.

His story is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. While the public is now better used to discussing the stress on mothers and about post-natal depression, less is said about the difficulties new fathers encounter.

Asking for help is not weak to seek assistance

Ryan believes his difficulties are symptomatic of a larger reluctance to talk between men, who still hold onto harmful notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing time and again."

"It is not a display of failure to seek help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist who studies mental health before and after childbirth, notes men often don't want to admit they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not a legitimate person to be requesting help" - particularly in preference to a new mother and infant - but she stresses their mental state is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the space to take a pause - taking a couple of days abroad, away from the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He understood he had to make a adjustment to consider his and his partner's feelings alongside the day-to-day duties of caring for a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd failed to notice "what she needed" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has reshaped how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will enable his son to better grasp the vocabulary of emotional life and understand his decisions as a father.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen lacked consistent male parenting. Even with having an "wonderful" relationship with his dad, deep-held emotional pain caused his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says bottling up emotions caused him to make "bad decisions" when he was younger to modify how he felt, finding solace in substance use as a way out from the hurt.

"You find your way to things that don't help," he says. "They can briefly alter how you feel, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Strategies for Managing as a New Father

• Share with someone - if you feel swamped, confide in a trusted person, your spouse or a therapist what you're going through. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the pursuits that made you feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. It could be exercising, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Don't ignore the physical health - a good diet, physical activity and where possible, resting, all play a role in how your mind is coping.
• Meet other new dads - listening to their journeys, the challenges, as well as the positive moments, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Remember that requesting help is not failure - taking care of you is the most effective way you can look after your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he did not receive.

When his son threatens to have a outburst, for example, they do "shaking the feelings out" together - managing the frustrations in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become better, healthier men since they confronted their issues, altered how they communicate, and taught themselves to control themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… sitting with things and handling things," explains Stephen.

"I expressed that in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, on occasion I believe my job is to teach and advise you on life, but the truth is, it's a exchange. I'm learning as much as you are in this journey."