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Our friends with a woman, who has overcome numerous hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's constantly caught off guard by others. Her husband ended their marriage, which came as a massive blow. A lot of her friends disappeared then, as they were only interested in him. This surprised her deeply. She made greater energy to be my friend, likely realised better the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern In Relationships

In the time since, many close to her have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, although she had been very skilled at her work, she departed not understanding why things shifted.

Present Situation

Recently, we have each stepped back from work and are seeing time together, but I am finding my role in the relationship is as the audience. I start topics of conversation and she changes them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she holds unyielding views. I attempt to propose factchecking or other angles.

She's been arranging a holiday abroad I've visited on several occasions and resided in for a while. I attempted to provide personal experiences, yet it was unappreciated. She purely only wanted my agreement with her decisions. I have returned from a month in that country and she wants to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she'll truly grasp the consequences of her behaviour on my confidence. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Potential Solutions

One option is to end things abruptly, however, that approach is not often a smooth outcome that we desire. But confrontation with a view to working things out takes courage and willingness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially is to state how things go during your discussions. Aim for this to be as factual as possible like an unbiased account. Step two is to express her how it leaves you feeling. Ideally, there's no disagreement about this. Emotions are valid, naturally. Finally is to ask how you are both can shift the interaction between you."

Remember your friend holds perspectives, so you need to stay open to acknowledge it. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to not say anything for half an hour."

It's remarkably successful to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

She may dismiss your concerns, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they maintain a version about themselves they cannot release since their identity is tied to it and it represents they've known. It's tough because there's no clear path here, only cul-de-sacs. Yet she could start out defensively before reflecting your perspective. And should you never reach a fix, it will give you peace that you've been honest with her.